By Jeremy Vandroff
Ricky Wallace, a 19 year old Journalism major and self-described “huge New England Patriots fan” is currently too excited to sleep as he prepares to see Justin Edelman, Darrelle Revits, and Tim Brady cruise down the duck boats in celebration of the team’s recent thrilling Super Bowl victory.
“This is so amazing,” Wallace sputtered, while sporting a Tom Brady jersey that still had a tag on it.
“I’ve been such a big supporter of the team for so long. When the Pats… we call them the Pats,” he said, winking, as he babbled on.
“When the Pats won that game I was so pumped. Coach Bob Belichick is the greatest.”
As Emerson braces for the traffic of a championship parade against the backdrop of snow drifts 6 feet high, some detractors say the city could best spend it’s money fixing numerous transit problems encroaching on citizens and commuters. Wallace disagrees.
“Fuck that,” Wallace quipped.
“If you would rather shovel snow than see Cronk, you’re not a real fan.”
Wallace, who lost his phone in a Piano Row common room couch during the excitement of the 4th quarter of the game, last tweeted “Dancing sharks are the best part of this game.”