By Charlie Greenwald
The Little Building 4th floor common room turned into a hellish war zone after second year student Taylor Copeland burned his Easy Mac at approximately 9:31 PM. According to multiple sources, Copeland was entranced by Hozier’s performance of “Take Me To Church” with Annie Lennox and forgot to put water in his cup, disrupting the microwave and setting the common room aflame.
“It was bedlam,” said RA Katie Plum, who rushed to the scene with fellow RA John Massaci to deal with the scene. “ECPD told us that the fire was beyond their control, so we had to call in special forces to assist with the nightmarish scene.”
This isn’t the first time an Emerson student has burned a microwavable snack in the common room. There have been a reported 5 incidents this year of similar circumstance. With Emerson dining facilities closing or limiting their selection recently due to the weather, many residents, including Copeland, have resorted to late-night snacking in order to get their fill.
“All I wanted was a delicious, cheesy snack before bedtime,” Copeland pleaded to his fellow 4th floor residents as they trudged down the stairs and outside into the freezing cold. “I said I was sorry!”
This was the first Little Building viewing party to be called off early all year. Many watch parties have gone successfully, including the Dragonball Z viewing party last Sunday and the Jerry Springer viewing party three Wednesdays ago.
At press time, the Little Building was being cleaned up, while everybody in Colonial was happily watching the Grammy Awards inside of their perfect, state-of-the-art building.