Woman Stopping Elevator Not Nearly Apologetic Enough


By Jeremy Vandroff

Moments after an Ansin Building elevator was prevented from taking off, sources confirmed that Danielle Thomas was not nearly apologetic enough for the delay she had caused.

“The doors were nearly shut,” recounted Joe Rosenberg, who complained of being late to a journalism seminar. “All of the sudden… BAM. Danielle sticks her paws into the doorway. Next thing you know, we have to reset everything.”

As Thomas bustled her way into the already crowded elevator car, she was met with scowls from dismayed students.

“I figured she would at least say ‘Sorry,’ or maybe even offer up a formal apology,” quipped Samantha Jones. “Instead, she just stared at me, and was like, ‘Can you hit the button for the second floor?”

Thomas, who displayed no signs of immobility and appeared to be in peak physical condition, exited the elevator at the second floor.

At press time, Thomas was sticking her hand back in the elevator, because she forgot to get Starbucks before class.

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