School Abuzz Over Latest Celebrity Child At Emerson, Devastated To Find Out It’s Will Smith’s Elder Son

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By: Malcolm Kelner

Emerson has been abuzz over hearing yet another celebrity child has enrolled at the school, but that enthusiasm is turning into devastation as the student body slowly starts to learn that student is Will Smith’s elder son.

“Wait… Will Smith has a second son?” asked senior film student Liam Eichman to Lion’s Tooth reporters.

The answer is yes, Will Smith does indeed have a second son, Trey Smith, who was born during his marriage to his first wife Sheree Zampino.

A Lion’s Tooth undercover investigation revealed the 22-year-old Smith enrolled in a music marketing graduate program this semester here at Emerson.

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Who cares.

But we’ll try not to bore you with the details because who really cares about this guy anyway, right?

Despite his celebrity bloodlines and shared handsome looks with his father, Emerson’s female population has been especially hard-hit by the news that Trey Smith is the latest “famous” celebrity child to come to Emerson.

“When I heard Will Smith’s son was coming to Emerson, I got so excited because I love Jaden Smith,” said sophomore film major Vanessa Chapman.

“He was so cute in The Pursuit of Happyness, and his tweets are so deep,” Chapman continued. “I definitely would have tried to make a move, but then I found out it’s not him and just some other bastard kid instead.”

Our reporter quickly reminded her that Trey isn’t a bastard.

“Whatever, he’s not Jaden!” she responded, running off crying.

At press time, Trey was sighted eating in the DH alone.

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