Bearing in mind the toll that February’s weather has taken on students and with mid-terms coming up next week, Emerson College recently introduced “Sexy,” the Sodexo clown, to boost student morale.
“Emerson students love to be entertained, so we feel that Sexy will fit right in,” said Sodexo regional manager Ty Gilchrist. “We’re following the McDonald’s model.”
The privately commissioned party-time clown was first seen in Emerson’s Little Building Dining Hall this past Monday, providing acts and tricks for everyone at dinner time.
“I totally dig Sexy,” said Tommy Runsted, a freshman. “The guy came up to me while I was in the deli line and made me a terrific balloon hot dog.”
While several local Sodexo employees have embraced Sexy in the DH, some external representatives from Sodexo have vocalized their trepidations concerning the hiring of Sexy at the Emerson branch.
“I’m deathly afraid of clowns so this isn’t my favorite idea,” said Sodexo PR Executive Mike Kneeland. “Whenever he strolls by I get chills down my spine… Jeepers creepers, man.”
A few Emerson students have also expressed disapproval of Sexy’s presence in the DH. Some DH visitors claimed he has been dropping random things into different dishes.
“I saw him put a ‘little surprise’ in my tomato soup,” moaned sophomore Ty Stewart, leaning over a trash can. “I really don’t even care about entertainment in the Dining Hall… I just want to eat.”
During DH after-hours, Lion’s Tooth was briefly able to catch up with the Sexy for an interview.
“I hope these kids enjoy the little surprises I snuck under their tables!” Sexy said as he honked his nose aggressively while balancing a plate of vegan pasta on his head and riding a unicycle. “Let’s just say their stomachs won’t be the only thing growling at breakfast tomorrow… Ha ha ha!”
At press time, Sexy was seen wandering off into the Boston Public Gardens around 10:30pm EST.
(If you have any information about Sexy’s whereabouts, please contact Emerson College Police Department.)