Student Blatantly Admits He’s Running For Class President Solely To Boost Resume

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By: Malcolm Kelner

An Emerson junior running for class president for next year has blatantly admitted to doing so for the sole purpose of boosting his resume.

In a Facebook event cheekily entitled, “Vote Ryan Schmidt for Class of 2016 Fearless Leader (Class President)!” the marketing major Schmidt outlined his platform for the election.

“I’m running for Class President because I deeply care about the Emerson Community I’m so proud to be a part of,” the page description reads.

“If elected, I would listen intently to all my peers with concerns about school issues that need addressing, work with the SGA to help cut down on the red tape that prevents many reforms from being made, and most importantly, I’d have a killer byline on my resume that would likely improve my job prospects coming out of college. Just being honest.”

“How great would it be if we had a dining hall that we all looked forward to going to instead of the opposite?” the event description continued. “Many class presidents before me have made empty promises about it, but I’d do my best to make that happen. Also, how great would it be if I could differentiate myself from other graduates applying for the same marketing jobs by having something on my resume that showed strong leadership qualities, a penchant for creating positive change, and respect from my peers? I mean, all things being equal academically between someone else and me, you’ve got to think a company’s marketing department or a general marketing firm would choose a class president of his college over someone that wasn’t.”

“I’m not saying it would make me a lock for every job right away, but it certainly wouldn’t hurt, right? Be sure to go online from March 25th at midnight to March 26th at midnight on vote.emerson.edu and vote for Ryan Schmidt! Thanks everyone! :)”

At press time, straw polls had Schmidt as the projected winner with a majority of five out of the nine votes expected to be cast.

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