Always the first to enlighten the Emerson community about the concerns and issues revolving around the college, the latest copy of the school newspaper, The Berkeley Beacon, features a derisive critique of Emerson’s premier school newspaper, The Berkeley Beacon. The article claims that the paper is full of “idle journalism” that “misses the mark” when reporting on the real concerns at Emerson College.
“Our team really got these suckers good,” said managing editor Alicia DeToya. “We had to dig deep and get our hands dirty with this piece, but it would be selfish to put our journalistic fears above the public’s right to information.”
Calling the local rag “lousy” and “derivative,” the article, written by Berkeley Beacon journalist Henry Kleiner, tore into the faculty and staff, citing reported libel littered throughout their articles and a consistent fabrication of stories. Additionally, the paper lambasted the staff for not doing enough research, taking absolutely no prisoners when listing off the writers who have pissed all over the sanctity of the organization.
“Nobody there knows how to write a good nut graph,” Kleiner confided, “and I think that the organization is slowly losing its mind, slipping into irrelevance.”
At press time, several reporters at The Berkeley Beacon were working on their next issue, exploring such controversial issues around campus like the current financial aid system and academic registration.