Following New App Launch, Emerson Announces Plans For MySpace Page

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By: Malcolm Kelner

On Friday afternoon, Emerson Vice President of Communications and Marketing Andy Tiedemann (pictured) sent out a mass e-mail announcing the launch of Emerson College’s first ever mobile app.

This huge news sent shockwaves through a student body that was thrilled to hear their administration is keeping pace with the cutting edge of technology and is always looking for ways to enhance the Emerson experience.

The revelation has also instantly sent Emerson skyrocketing up the boards of US News & World Report’s and other publications’ college rankings.

And now before the school even gave the students a chance to catch their breaths, it has released its latest innovation: an Emerson MySpace page.

Announced via another Andy Tiedemann mass e-mail, the message outlined the school’s latest big news.

“While it may be in its young stages at this moment, social media is expected to really take off over the next several years, reaching the mainstream by around 2020,” Tiedemann wrote. “As a school that takes communication so seriously, it makes sense for us to be active participants in the next wave of communication–social media–by having a presence on its most popular platform, MySpace.”

“We encourage everyone to look us up, shoot us a friend request, and comment on our pics,” the silver fox added. “First eight students to friend us will make our Top 8!”

A Lion’s Tooth reporter was instructed on assignment to visit the new Emerson MySpace page, and reportedly had to immediately spring to the mute button on her speakers, which started blaring “Crank That (Soulja Boy) – Explicit Version.” Also, on examination of the friend list, she noticed the school had only two friends so far, “Tom” and “President Lee,” so the site seems to not have quite caught on with the students yet.

At press time, rumors were circulating that the school has plans in the works to install campus-wide Wi-Fi.

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