Last week, amidst rumors of a “hostile takeover,” it was revealed that Securitas had been bought out by Cyberdyne Systems – the company famous for creating the sentient artificial intelligence system Skynet and setting Judgement Day in motion.
The prestigious security technologies company has promised to keep providing quality service and tight security measures for academic and residential buildings across campus.
Inventor of the company’s neural net processor, Dr. Miles Dyson, has been quoted as saying, “I believe that the Model 101 Series 800 Terminator is our most efficient unit yet… and I say that knowing it has been programmed to destroy without mercy.”
Many students have noted that while they appreciate the advances in technological security, they fear for the safety of their lives. Sophomore and Piano Row resident Jordan Holbrook voiced his concern to Lion’s Tooth.
“I tried to sign a guest in late Friday night and the guy working asked for my clothes, my boots, and my motorcycle,” Holbrook noted. “I don’t even have that last thing.”
This is not the company’s first venture into college campus security. As some might remember, Cybderdyne had a brief tenure at Wheelock College. Their residency was cut short when their T-1000 models began malfunctioning and shape shifting into students and faculty members.
At press time, President Pelton was seen carving “The Future is Not Set” into a desk in his Ansin office.