Unwanted Eye Contact Made Through EmCaf Windows Again

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By: Malcolm Kelner

Sources have confirmed that an Emerson student has made unwanted eye contact through the EmCaf windows once again.

“God damn it,” junior Mikey LaPanta muttered after walking from the Boylston and Tremont intersection to the Walker Building. “That was excruciating.”

Lion’s Tooth reporters caught up with LaPanta to ask him who the tragic momentary ocular connection was made with.

“Oh, I don’t remember his name,” the marketing major assured, “but I had a group project with him for class last year. I’m pretty sure he gave me a head nod but what was I supposed to do back? I guess he thought we were cool. Had to look away quick.”

“This always happens to me,” an increasingly flustered LaPanta continued. “I’m pretty sure all the kids who endlessly chill at those window counter seats on their laptops live for moments like this. Why can’t you sit somewhere else?”

“I should have just never looked to the left at all.”

At press time, LaPanta was feigning an effort to reach for the “Door Open” button in the Walker elevators as another student approached.

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