Miniature-Sized Mountain Climbers Hike Steep Walker Building Desk


By Charlie Greenwald

A recent duo of backpacking mountaineers apparently hiked the summit of a Walker Building desk, according to multiple reports. The two began their journey at approximately 7:05 in the morning, and finished at around 11:42, just as a History of Jazz class was finishing.

“We’re very excited,” said Lars Dekker, one of the hikers. “We come from a group of tiny people who live in the walls of Boylston Place. Every year, fellow hiker Arnold Jones and I climb a Walker Building desk, and this year we did it in record time.”

Many Emerson students complain about the fact that the desks around campus are too narrow, and that they are annoyingly angled downward, so many binders and folders slide downward or off the desk. But one-inch tall Dekker and two-inch tall Jones, however, embrace the 48.7 centimeter incline on the desks. They noted that it makes for a miniature climber’s dreamscape.

“The conditions are rough, but that’s why we love it,” Jones exclaimed from the very top of the desk. “When we’re done, we all just slide down and get a bite to eat at Griddler’s.”

At press time, several of the thimble-sized folk were heading back into their quarters, cheering and whooping it up with the rats who also inhabit the space in the walls.

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