Alien Spotted Atop ELA, Overheard Saying “Everything Is Going According To Plan”


By Charlie Greenwald

Several Emerson Los Angeles students were disturbed to see a gigantic green alien at Emerson Los Angeles on Friday. Sources say he was on the phone, discussing business in a barely comprehensible dialect.

“It was jarring,” said senior VMA major and ELA resident Sam LaGrange. “I mean, this building does look like a spaceship, but I didn’t think it actually was one.”

The alien is said to have been over 12 feet in height and a bright green color. He was on the phone for 2 minutes, then vanished, nowhere to be found.

“Here at ELA, we’re prepared to handle all sorts of emergencies – be it earthquakes, floods, or alien invasions,” said ELA Security Officer Jill Parker. “We’re dealing with the situation as we speak.”

When asked to comment on the situation, Emerson Los Angeles faculty responded by saying that they were concerned the alien was on the roof, as it is “against school policy.”

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