I Don’t Fucking Care About Your Class Schedule, A Letter By Your Grandmother

 

 

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By Your Grandmother

Benjamin. You make me so proud. Seeing you grow into a fine young man brings me such joy. I’m always bragging about you to to my girlfriends. Did you know how talented and handsome a boy you are. How is your sister. Grandpa says hi. Did you get my birthday card with the 5 dollars in it. Spend it on something nice.

I also wanted to make it clear that I don’t give a shit about your class schedule for the upcoming semester. I saw you post that picture that listed your classes. I really wish I hadn’t. What a waste of my time. Good riddance! When I was your age we didn’t have television or the computer or Facebook. Fuck me if it’s good for anything.

Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing those pictures of you and your friends at school, but honestly get that shit off my computer. Oh, you didn’t get into Advanced Documentary Production? I don’t give a shit and neither do your friends. Go clog somebody else’s newsfeed. I remember last year you did the same thing, you whined and whined about getting waitlisted on every class and then compared Emerson registration to the hungry games movie.

I didn’t give a hoot then and I certainly don’t now.

See you at Christmas.

XOXO Grammy

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