Report: $156.75 Textbook Collecting Dust In Dorm

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By Charlie Greenwald

Sources confirmed today that Shay Lopez’s SOCIOLOGY textbook, which cost a whopping $156.75, is currently unopened. Lopez said that although she found that Amazon had cheaper prices than Emerson’s bookstore, she still feels ripped off.

“All the chapters are online and she barely asks us about the reading anyway,” Lopez sighed. “I have not used it.”

This heavy, expensive text, which discusses at lengths the scientific study of social behavior, cultures and society, is currently atop Lopez’s shelf, where it has remained a lonely, dusty book.

“The thing is as cold as an ice chest,” remarked Lopez’s classmate Noel Burey.

At press time, Lopez was selling the book to a freshman taking the same class next semester, telling him “we use it all the time.”

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