Freshman Home For Break Wastes No Time Dumping Long-Distance Boyfriend

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By Charlie Greenwald

SEAFORD, DE – Despite a valiant effort to stay together, freshman Valerie Tomlinson decided to call it quits with her high school sweetheart, Roy, immediately upon returning home from break.

“Yeah, this isn’t working out,” Moore cooly stated to her nonplussed, now-former boyfriend. “I’m glad I got to do this in person, though, since we’ve been through so much together – calculus, prom, and other stuff.”

Thanksgiving break is a popular time for high school couples struggling with long distance to split up. For every relationship that evolves during trying times, there’s people like Valerie, who jump ship before it gets even harder.

“I like Derek now,” Moore explained, showing Roy a picture of her new man. “I hope you understand.”

At press time, Roy was seen telling Valerie that he accepts the breakup, but gingerly suggested “re-evaluating where they are in their lives” during Christmas break.


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