Satisfied Student Definitely Got Her $28,626 Worth Over First Semester

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By: Malcolm Kelner

A satisfied student is heading back home for winter break following a first semester filled with a lot of learning, great friends, fun extra-curriculars, and the peace of mind knowing the $28,626 she paid to Emerson over the half year was well spent.

“This has definitely been worth it,” sophomore WLP major Vanessa Masterson said as she wistfully packed up her bags and headed out from Piano Row this morning to await her dad’s ride back home to Cumberland, Rhode Island.

Masterson was accepted to seven different schools, six of which either gave her generous financial aid packages or were public. However, after her middle class parents told her not to worry about finances and follow her heart, she chose the one school that gave her absolutely nothing.

And she could not have any less regrets about that decision through a year a half.

“I’m gonna miss everyone here over the next three and a half weeks so much,” Masterson continued. “I can’t wait to get back here on January 11th and spend another $28,626.”

At press time, Masterson’s dad was sitting alone at the kitchen table, clutching his daughter’s URI acceptance letter, and crying.

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