“So Many Things Wrong With The Force Awakens”, Reports That Kid in Your Intermediate Film Production Class Who Just Got Three Consecutive D’s on Assignments

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By Jeremy Vandroff

Graham Goodwell, that kid in your Intermediate Film Production class who just got three consecutive D’s on assignments, saw the “The Force Awakens” last night, and according to him, there were “So many problems” with the newest installment of the Star Wars franchise.

Goodwell, who hasn’t received a grade higher than a B- for any film work he’s submitted at Emerson, got right to pointing out all the plot holes in JJ Abram’s script.

“We’re just supposed to believe that none of the ancillary companion pieces, like ‘The Siege of Lothal’ ever existed?” indignantly mused the aspiring auteur who recently received a 64/100 on a recent script he turned in for grading.

“And so many of the practical effects were ineffective”, continued the student who recently shot a sci-fi movie using painted black cardboard as a backdrop.

When asked if he could point out anything positive about the $200 million film, he just shrugged

“I don’t know, I had such high hopes. But this just felt like a total retread of old themes and battleship chase scenes” Goodwell, who has not written an original script since freshman year, lamented.

At press time, Goodwell was spotted in the EDC, serving up some unwanted spoilers about the film to the horrified students around him.

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