VMA Senior Makes Resolution To Finish His Skateboarding Documentary Again


By Christopher “CJ” Maiorino  

Emerson junior Raymond Olardo swore earlier tonight that he would finish his skateboarding documentary, Beyond the Ollie: Grinding Home, by the end of the new semester. His wish was made just hours before the clock struck 12, and minutes after he finished his third shot.

“I’m gonna get it done by January, mark my words,” he proudly declared to his friends on the dance floor at the CHAINSMOKERS concert at Pier 94 in New York City. “I just gotta get some shit together first, like some audio stuff, you know?”

An accomplished street skater from the hills of Iowa, Olardo has attempted to complete his documentary since his freshman year. Production went into development hell when all of his time and energy went into selling weed instead.

“Life sneaks away from you sometimes, and it sucks,” he said after urinating in a corner. “But this is the year, man.”

When asked how much left of the movie he had, Olardo shrugged, refocusing on the performers at the CHAINSMOKERS concert.

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