Sophomore Asshole Considering Switching Class Sections To Find Hotter Girls

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By: Malcolm Kelner

Sophomore Marketing major and total asshole Ryan Windsor is reportedly mulling over switching class sections to get into a class with hotter girls.

According to multiple sources, Windsor was “not at all stoked” last week when he realized his Understanding Consumers class was made up of women “all 6’s or under, at best.”

“There was actually one broad in there who was probably a 7.5, but then my buddy told me he already tried to get with her and found out she’s a lesbian,” the shallow douchebag said. “Emerson is brutal, man.”

Given the lack of women up to Windsor’s standards in the 10 AM section of the class, sources say today’s class was the final straw that may convince him to roll the dice with the 8 AM section with the add/drop deadline looming.

“Being able to sleep in is nice but quality chicks are nicer,” the insufferable tool contended. “It can’t get any worse so I think I’m gonna P the T.”

At press time, Windsor was using his friend from the 8 AM class’s Canvas account to look up each female student from the class list on Facebook.

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