Marketing Savant Drops Bombshell That Dove And Axe Are Owned By Same Company

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By: Malcolm Kelner

This morning, a Messages, Media, and Channels class was studying marketing campaigns with unique messages, and a student brought up Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty.

“Great example,” said Professor Wayne Bolean, as he began to discuss the popular and well-received campaign which promotes body positivity for women and exposes some of the superficial standards and practices of the beauty industry.

After some more back and forth between Bolean and other students praising the project, one may have thought Dove was simply a perfect company that could do no wrong.

However, junior Marketing minor Robert Giles was smarter than that, and had finally heard enough.

He shook his head, rolled his eyes, and raised his hand, ready to bequeath some mind-blowing knowledge on the rest of the class’s unenlightened sheep, as he has done many times before.

“You guys realize Dove and Axe are owned by the same company, right?” the young genius proclaimed, turning around in his seat in the front of the class to look around the room.

“Yeah, Axe, the company that portrays women as sexual objects and says things like, ‘Spray More and Get More.’ Pretty gross, right?” he added emphatically.

The class went dead silent, pausing to try to grasp the magnitude of Giles’ comments, which completely exposed Dove as a bunch of hypocrites and frauds.

“Don’t believe me?” the prodigy continued, a confident smirk overcoming his lips. “Look it up.”

Professor Bolean quickly sprang to the computer controlling the overhead projector to do a Google search, and sure enough, Giles was right! Dove and Axe are both owned by the consumer goods parent company Unilever.

“Wow, how about that?!” Bolean said. “Robert, you really taught us an important lesson today.”

“Not a problem, Professor,” the future corporate wizard responded. “Stay woke everyone!”

At press time, Giles was pointing out the difference in marketing strategies between Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts.

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