Report: Student Getting Way Too Comfortable Swearing In Class


By: Malcolm Kelner

A Lion’s Tooth report has found an Emerson student is getting way too comfortable swearing in class.

Countless sources confirm freshman Marketing major Adam Gildan is a loudmouth menace in all four of his classes, and somehow finds it socially and professionally acceptable to just drop f-bombs and other crude language whenever he pleases.

“Abercrombie keeps finding ways to fuck up,” the disrespectful student recently said when giving a presentation on the brand in his Brands, Organizations, and Strategies class, with his professor sitting a few feet away. “Their PR awareness is just nowhere to be fucking found.”

It’s not only when making presentations does Gildan think it’s okay to act like this.

“Yo, Miles Davis was the shit,” the immature toolbag blurted out after raising his hand in his History of Jazz class. “It’s fucked up how his name is rarely mentioned when people discuss the most influential figures in American music. His legacy really seems to get shafted.”

To make matters worse, sources say Gildan seems to think his insolent behavior is funny and edgy.

“Every time he curses, he has this little smirk and glances around the room to see if other people are laughing, and no one ever is,” said classmate Michelle Greenstein. “We get it, you’re in college now. In his words, he needs to just chill the fuck out.”

At press time, Gildan was blowing his chance at a summer internship when he told the person interviewing him that the position “sounds like a fucking awesome opportunity.”

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