Atheist Student Won’t Stop Saying “Bless”

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By: Malcolm Kelner

An atheist Emerson student will not stop saying “bless.”

Sources report junior WLP major Spencer Wrigley, who does not believe in God, finds a way to insert the word into nearly every conversation.

“Every time something remotely good happens, it’s ‘bless’ this, or ‘bless’ that,” said friend Mike Tomlinson. “Find something else to say.”

To make matters worse, Wrigley, who was recently quoted as saying, “All organized religions are murderous cults,” often accompanies his “blessings” by placing his hands to together in a praying motion.

“Who is he blessing?” asked Tomlinson, very confused.

At press time, Wrigley was sharing an article on Facebook definitively debunking the concept of a God.