Marketing Snob Reminds Everyone He’s “Only Watching The Super Bowl For The Ads”

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By: Malcolm Kelner

A marketing snob has issued a proclamation reminding everyone he’s “only watching the Super Bowl for the ads.”

Junior Marketing major Bryan Huff penned a Facebook status this afternoon with the big news, also encouraging people to “comment with your favorite and least favorite ones!”

Aside from the status, Huff has reportedly made this point like it was a reflex every time someone has mentioned the Super Bowl all week.

“Oh you think the Panthers will win?” Huff recently said, butting into a conversation of his friends in the Dining Hall. “I don’t know who will win and frankly I don’t care. I’m just excited for the ads.”

Sources say the revelation of Huff’s plan for the Super Bowl was a huge surprise and not something everyone already knew, given how virtually all Huff’s Facebook posts are either links to commercials he liked or articles from Adweek, as well as his frequent assertion that “sports are for dull-minded simpletons.”

“So you guys have any plans for the event?” Huff later asked the friends, who looked at each other and tepidly lied, “Probably not.”

At press time, a Musical Theatre major was saying how she was only watching the Super Bowl for Coldplay and Beyoncé.

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