New Sodexo Employee Tasked With Shitty Rookie Job Of Responding To DH Napkin Notes

shittyjob

By Haley Thompson

In what has been business as usual for Sodexo, new hire Taylor Carpenter was asked by Sodexo’s upper management to handle the DH Napkin Notes for the next few weeks. Sources say Carpenter drew the short straw among 3 new recruits.

“Alright, all, you know the drill,” veteran manager Christian Salazar announced, presenting a handful of straws to groggy employees. “Whoever picks the short straw needs to answer the notes. No ifs ands or buts – play like a champion.”

In a stroke of bad luck, Carpenter allegedly picked the short straw and gave a resigned sigh, sweating from the heat of the ovens around him. He then reportedly mumbled something about a food services job in New Hampshire, and then stood tall, facing the music.

“I just never thought it would be me,” Carpenter recalls, resting his head in his hands. “Yes, sometimes the lettuce is soggy, or the pizza is burnt, but it isn’t always my fault… I’m new here. It’s going to be tough to field these responses.”

After drawing the short straw, several employees offered Carpenter their condolences. “If you need to talk, I’m always here,” remarked Phil, a member of the kitchen staff. At lunchtime, Carpenter could be found scrawling vague responses on post-it notes in the breakroom.

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