Emerson Frat Bro Reports He Had Great Time Partying Over Spring Break With “Actual Hot Girls”


By: Malcolm Kelner

Spring Break is a great opportunity for students to escape the grind of the school year, and for one particular Emerson frat bro, it provided the chance to party with some “actual hot girls.”

“Spring Break was fucking awesome,” said junior Marketing major and fraternity brother Gavin Anderson, who just returned from Miami. “It was nice to party with some actual hot girls for once, instead of the weak excuses for chicks we have at Emerson.”

Sources say Anderson and a few other members of his fraternity rented out a South Beach apartment on Airbnb, and spent the week partying, going to the beach, hitting on vacationing girls from state schools, and binge drinking.

“It’s crazy how we have such lowered standards of what hot girls are by going to Emerson,” Anderson told Lion’s Tooth reporters.

“It’s not just about looks,” the sun-burnt douchebag went on to assure us. “I hate how girls at Emerson always want to have, like, intelligent conversations. That just makes you so unattractive. These broads down here weren’t so needy. It was great.”

When asked what his interactions with the “actual hot” women consisted of, Anderson answered very indirectly.

“I dunno, man,” the insufferable jackass responded. “I don’t really remember most of the week to be honest.”

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