By Lloyd Mallison
Buoyed by a new sense of egalitarianism, Sophomore Communication Studies major Ana Stratenmire conferred with her suspicious friends that she is having a serious dilemma – which way to swipe for a guy on Tinder she saw wearing a Fedora.
“I’ve learned a lot on Tinder and Bumble, and that’s not to judge,” Stratenmire mused. “There’s more to people than just attractiveness and looks – but this is a tough one.”
Sources say Stratenmire, who loves retweeting body positive Twitter accounts and always reads Elite Daily articles, matched with a student named Eric, but his decision to post many pictures wearing his signature Grey Stetson has made her really question her beliefs.
“It’s funny – I’ve seen her swipe right for guys with obscure tribal tattoos and swipe left on guys under six feet, so this really is a new sense of restraint for her,” said freshman Clark Beener, who knows Stratenmire from History of Jazz. “But good for her for putting serious thought forth. These are the battles we fight on Tinder and Bumble.”
At press time, Stratenmire was swiping right, but vowing to not respond to his messages if he talked to her.