eCommon Causes Freshman’s Computer To Spontaneously Burst Into Flames

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After an incredibly difficult morning registering on eCommon, freshman VMA student Anya Derricksen watched in horror as her computer was set ablaze after struggling to connect to the website.

“It just bugged out after desperately struggling to get online and sign up for classes and suddenly it just started burning up like an oven,” said Derricksen, who was unable to sign up for 3 out of the 4 classes she needed. “I might have to switch majors, or even schools.”

The eCommon website is known for being uncooperative during registration periods, which are often at 7:00 in the morning for students. Emerson’s IT Department said that the spontaneous combustion during registration this morning was not out of the question for the website.

“We’ve seen eCommon Internet problems cause computers to completely lose their memory, even split in half without any pressure whatsoever,” said Rod Parkinson, IT Manager. “Mac’s suffer greatly, and PC’s… let’s not go there.”

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