“God Is Dead,” Say Lion’s Tooth Co-Founders After EVVY Gala Loss

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By Charlie Greenwald

Moments after a devastating defeat, the Lion’s Tooth co-founders and EVVY nominees Charlie Greenwald and Malcolm Kelner found themselves in a pool of tears, pondering the purpose of comedy in the universe.

“Jokes don’t matter to anybody anymore,” said Greenwald, wondering what the hell AtlasBlog is even about. “Life is just a series of pointless moments, devoid of humor, without laughter, free of joy.”

Kelner, who was riding home from a baseball game when he heard the catastrophic news that Lion’s Tooth lost the “BEST BLOG” award to Atlas,  stared silently out the window and ignored all of his friends attempting to comfort him. Onlookers said that Kelner was peering into what seemed to be the abyss.

“The people at Atlas have broken my soul,” Kelner said, slowly being swallowed by the never-ending blackness. “I am now going to cry myself to sleep, and tomorrow, when I wake, I hope these horrifying memories will have faded.”

At press time, other Lion’s Tooth co-founder Jeremy Vandroff, who graduated last year and is now living in New York, was happily living his life.

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