With Move-Out Carts Easily Available, Guy Begins Smuggling Kittens Into Piano Row

Screen Shot 2016-04-19 at 7.21.50 PMBy Charlie Greenwald

Seizing his opportunity like a bengal tiger, sophomore Piano Row resident and VMA student Ryder Bridgefoul rented a move-out cart today for an hour simply to smuggle kittens into the residence hall.

“Nothing to see here,” Bridgefoul said, stealthily sliding past the vigilant Piano Row Desk Assistants. “Nope, just some film equipment for a shoot this weekend – no creatures of any kind, no sir-ee.”

This Thursday at Emerson, the library will be hosting it’s annual Cirque de De-Stress in the Iwasaki Library. Although coloring books and massage chairs will be available, the main draw is usually the therapy dogs, of which there are several – including a corgi, a lab, and a few others. There is also a therapy rabbit. The event is, however, devoid of nuzzlable kittens, which may have prompted Bridgefoul to take action.

“Where the library falls short, I pick up the slack,” Bridgefoul whispered, dropping off a Russian Blue at his friend’s dorm with the delicacy and precision of a cheetah in the savanna. “Not everybody is a dog person, you know – so I think this will help.”

At press time, Bridgefoul’s suitemate was groaning that he only had 10 minutes of Cirque-allotted playtime with the puppies on Thursday.

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