Freshman Brags that Emergency Notification System Check the Only “Test” He Partook in All Semester

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By Haley Thompson

While hundreds of Emersonians were preparing for finals this afternoon, friends of freshman Reece Gibbons were stunned to find him watching the new season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt in a Piano Row Common Room, wearing only his bathrobe. We learned from Gibbons’ acquaintance Brooke Steinmann that Gibbons hadn’t moved all day.

“When I asked him why he was so relaxed, he just shrugged,” Steinmann said, her concerned expression growing. “When I brought up finals, he laughed ―though, it might’ve just been at one of Titus’s quips.”

According to Gibbons, however, he wasn’t shrugging off finals, but had none to speak of. “Look,” Gibbons told reporters, chuckling, “I don’t have anything to worry about. The only test affecting me this semester was the practice Emergency Notification System Alert. And that one went off without a hitch.”

Later in the day, Gibbons could be found frantically studying in his bedroom, having been reminded of the History of Media Arts II final on Monday, which would make up a hefty 30% of his grade.

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