Emerson Ranks #1 In Shits Given About College Rankings

 

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Emerson is back on top, again. This time it’s for something besides Journalism, LGBT friendliness, athletics, likeliness to snap as a way of displaying approval, or nausea factor of dining hall food.

Both Forbes and the Princeton Review pegged Emerson as the top ranked school in the nation for giving a shit about college rankings.

“A number of factors go into these rankings” explained Forbes editor Randall Lane. “Mostly Facebook shares, google searches that contain a variation the keywords ‘Emerson’ ‘best’ ‘college’ and ‘America’, and visits to the page that shows rankings from the previous years.”

“We’ve actually seen that 96-97 percent of our readership on those articles comes from Emerson College students,” added a spokesperson from the Princeton Review. “For this reason, we usually just throw Emerson a bone and put them at number one for something.”

Meanwhile, Suffolk University’s student body couldn’t bring themselves to look at any of the newly released college rankings across the web.

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