Editorial: Can Someone Please Help Me Open My Piano Row Mail Box? Anyone?

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By Eli Sheffield,  Undeclared ’20

My mom texted me a few days ago and said she sent me a letter with a gift card in it for Dunkin’ Donuts. My family doesn’t live very far from Boston, so it’s probably in my mailbox by now. Guess I’ll head downstairs to check it out…

Let me take a look inside my mailbox…great! The letter’s there! Oh! And I think I can see a magazine in there, too. I’m thinking that’s my monthly Game Informer. Got my key packet with the combination numbers and everything. Let’s get these bad boys!

Wait…what the hell?  Why isn’t this working? I turned to the numbers correctly and everything. Hmm…maybe I’ll ask the desk assistants.

Hey guys! Do one of you know how to open these mailboxes? Oh, you’ve never lived in PRow? Damn, I gotcha. No worries!

Shit…I thought they were for sure gonna be able to help. Maybe I’ll ask some of the residents walking past.

Hey! Anyone know how to open one of these fucking things? Anyone? Dammit! They just keep ignoring me. Wait…I’ll just text my roommate, Chris.

Ugh! He says he knows how to open it, but he’ll be in History of Jazz class till 11:45…looks like I’ll have to wait. Great…really could have used a Dunkin’s coffee before my boring ass Intro to Visual Arts class.

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