Emerson Comedy Degree Suddenly Worthless With Rise Of Clowns


A new study suggests that students earning a degree in Comedic Arts at Emerson College are in for some bad news. With the influx of clowns in the past week, Emerson jokesters might soon be struggling to find a job in comedy.

“Let’s face it,” explained Sarah McCarthy, contributor at The Economist. “The need for clowns is not as high as it once was. Had you asked me a few weeks ago, I probably would have told you that pursuing a degree in Comedy at an institution like Emerson, while paying upwards of $37,000 for tuition per academic year was a smart move. Now? I can’t say that with such certainty.”

The most recent reports from the United States Bureau of Labor indicate that 64% of funny people are either unemployed or underemployed, many having to resort to cheap gimmicks such as slipping on banana peels just to pay their bills.

“Highly skilled clowns just can’t guarantee success in today’s job market. They are being replaced with people who are doing the job for free,” elaborated McCarthy. “You can basically find clowns at every street corner now.”

At press time, the manager of Griddler’s was seen printing out several hundred blank job applications at the Emerson Print and Copy Center.

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