Scaffolding In Custody After Stabbing Tremont Street Clubgoer

Photo courtesy of Tom Bunting/EIV News (a far less reputable news source)

Emerson College’s beloved mascot, Scaffolding, is in custody after an incident late Friday night, according to ECPD email blasts.
At approximately 11pm, Scaffolding was said to snap – figuratively, of course – due to not being able to take one more night of dealing with rowdy people partying at Emerson’s seedy on-campus clubs. 

Eyewitnesses say they heard the metal structure scream “THAT’S FUCKING ENOUGH” as someone swung on one of its horizontal beams, before viscously lashing out at the nearest passerby. 

The Emerson College Police Department assured Lion’s Tooth they are handling the investigation with the utmost seriousness, and won’t rest until they see Scaffolding behind even more bars.

Anybody with any information is to call ECPD chief Bob Smith at (888) 888-8888.

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