Pelton To Boston Residents: “Fenway’s Just The Start”


Walking past a group of protesters calling on him to withdraw the proposal to house approximately 115 students in the Fenway neighborhood, Emerson College President Lee Pelton let out a maniacal chuckle as he turned left onto Boylston Place heading towards the Tufte Building.

“Those guys have no idea what’s coming,” Pelton said to himself as he closed the door to his hidden layer on Tufte’s ground level floor, “When I’m done, the whole damned city will be donned with purple and gold banners. Fenway’s just the start.”

A map on Pelton’s desk, laden with scribbles, markings, and thumb tacks, revealed his master plan to gradually take over Boston piece by piece.

“Good. Good….” said Pelton under his breath as he guided his fingers along Boston’s various neighborhoods, “Yes, and then I can drop 250 students in Southie. They’ll never see it coming. It’s all coming together.”

At press time Pelton was overheard in an elevator forcibly demanding Emerson’s resident property planner Jamie Griffith to work on northern expansion. “Listen to me. I want Cambridge, dammit. I HAVE to have it. I assigned you to this job because I thought you were capable.”

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