Skybox Collapses On Bleachers In Gym, Tragically Killing Zero Fans

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On Wednesday night during the Emerson Basketball game in the Bobbi Brown and Steven Plofker Gymnasium, the iconic skybox that once hung above Emerson’s playing surface came crashing down unexpectedly. The 5-ton glass structure’s impact reduced the bleachers to pile of rubble early in the second quarter. Luckily, zero fans were in attendance, limiting the number of casualties to zero.

“By our estimates, the death toll could have been in the 100s had this occurred at a school whose student body possessed even a moderate interest in sports,” said Romero Larez, president of The Boston Department of Public Safety, “Fortunately, we had a totally vacant student section.”

When asked to comment on the destruction, an Emerson Facilities spokesperson said “We should this mess cleaned up in a few hours. Really not a huge deal.”

The Lions held on to win 79-46.

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