Student Under Impression That Change Of Calendar Year Will Make Things Better

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Explaining that the new year will allegedly bring better things, Michelle Skimskey ’18 was reportedly under the impression that 2017 will make things in her life change for the best.

“It’ll be nice to hang up a new calendar,” said Skimskey. “I can’t wait to leave this train wreak of a year. I’m ready to turn things around.”

2016 had a handful of letdowns for the junior WLP major including a plummeting GPA,  setbacks in her personal life, several heartbreaking celebrity deaths, and a disappointing presidential election. Despite what has been twelve of the worst months of the 20-year old’s life, Skimskey somehow believes that ringing in a new year will make things remotely better.

“Time for a fresh start.”

At press time, Michelle was receiving an email telling her that her unsubsidized loan interest rate was being raised to 4.72% as of 2017.

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