First Two Weeks Of Syllabus Dedicated To Turning Projector On


In a carefully crafted semester long schedule, Gothic Literature of the 1360s professor Gene Tenello had marked off the first two weeks of his spring class to turning on the projector.

Tenello made it clear that contributing comments to the class discussion such as “click the on button… no the one on the screen” would bode well on the participation category of the  grading breakdown.

According to sources, the third and fourth week were to focus on waiting for YouTube ads to finish and to figuring it how to “make it full screen,” respectively.

At press time, the IT guy was “working on it”.

UH,OH: Lee Pelton Lost The Keys To The Colonial Theater


Oh, brother. The Spring 2017 semester hasn’t even formally begun yet and Emerson has already hit a major roadblock — Lee Pelton lost the keys to the Colonial theater! With Ambassador Theater Group now on contract to operate the theater in the near future, this is a definite cause for concern.

Seen this past Monday morning frantically pacing outside of the historic property, the Emerson’s esteemed President was reportedly overheard making a desperate cellphone call to facilities management.

“Look, Prezzie P needs a hand here. I lost the damn keys to the Colonial and now I can’t get back in. I got a whole stack of Griddler’s Reward Cards just sitting in there! Help a guy out here,” pleaded Pelton in what appeared to be a call with Building Operations Manager John Carney, “Hello? Hello? Aww dammit, he hung up!”

Over the course of the day, Pelton resorted to reaching out to pedestrians on the Boylston Street sidewalk in the hopes of finding some assistance.

“Hey kid, I’ll give you a pack of cigs if you help me break into this place. Hell, I’ll make it two packs. Just help me here. Hey wait, don’t walk away” pleaded the president to an early arrival student on their way to Walker, “Those ATG guys are gonna have my head for this!”

At press time, President Pelton was seen unscrewing the bolts to a ventilation shaft in the Visitor Center in the hopes of finding another way into the Colonial, telling Lion’s Tooth reporters, “Desperate times call for desperate measures, baby!”