Boston Marathon Sees Record Times After Reveal Of New Griddlers Sandwich

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The 121st annual Boston Marathon saw record times on Monday in response to the announcement of Griddlers’ new ‘Pepperjack OG Supreme’ sandwich which costs $4.99 plus tax for a limited time only.

“I made an announcement over the megaphone at the at the starting line in Hopkinton saying, ‘Just over 26.2 miles due east is Griddlers’ new sandwich, just waiting for–‘ and before I could even finish the sentence all 30,074 runners were in a dead sprint,” recalled Boston Athletic Association president Joann E. Flaminio.

The entire field;  the elite women and men, waves one through four, push-rim wheelchair, the mobility impaired division, qualified and charity runners alike- all pushed through the grueling pain in record time, and then grabbed some grub at Griddlers’ Boston Common location.

“My goal was to get there first, obviously,” said Geoffrey Kirui- winner of the Men’s race. “I just figured the line would be out the door if I couldn’t get there in under 2 hours and 10 minutes. Honestly- it wasn’t that tough. I just kept thinking about Griddlers’ famous secret sauce and my legs did the rest.”

At press time, random guy Todd Baley was running along route 135 in Framingham, Massachusetts at a pace he hadn’t reached since 9th grade gym class. When asked to comment on the race he replied, “Race? What race? I’m just headed to Griddlers!”

 

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