Student Earns Emerson Degree By Guessing ‘C’ On Every Answer For Four Years


Since the fall of 2013, Brayden Hallows has had a bold but simple strategy: the answer is probably C.

“I did it. I got my degree!” shouted the fourth year VMA student who, on every test, every quiz, no matter how big or small, just wrote ‘C’ for every answer.  “It wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t always the correct answer, but more often than not: it was good enough,” explained Brayden.

Although the odds of scoring higher than 25-30 percent on any given test using this strategy are slim, Hallows managed to pass every single exam she was asked to take with flying colors.

“[Hallows is] one of my brightest pupils,” claimed East German Parody Films of the 1870s instructor Gene Urboshoow. “At first I had my doubts when I noticed she paid absolutely no attention to my lectures, constantly missed classes, and displayed zero understanding of any of the material when I periodically called on her in class, but once I sat down to grade her exam? Correct! Correct! Correct! Correct! She has a bright future ahead of her. I can tell you that.”

At press time, the 22-year old was receiving a job offer from a company whose CEO had picked up her rèsumè that she had dropped on the ground outside by accident.

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