Veteran speakers of Emerson’s graduation ceremony have been tirelessly coaching up 2017 speaker Dennis Lehane, who is terrified at the thought of giving a speech at the Agganis Arena this week.
“We know you can do it. YOU Just have to believe in yourself,” said 2015 speaker Robin Roberts to the 51-year old author.
“Alright here’s what you’re gonna do,” said 2014 speaker and Emerson alum Jay Leno. “Get up there. Tell a few jokes. Yeah. Really just knock their socks off. Bing bang boom. Yeah. Alice, what’s he gonna do next?”
“Bring up your book!” suggested fellow author and 2016 speaker Alice Sebold. “Just talk about your new book, Since We Fell. Your first book featuring a female protagonist? That’s a gold mine. You can kill 10 minutes with that. That’s what you do. You’re an author. And your name is Dennis Lehane.”
Meanwhile, all former Secretary of State and Emerson speaker John Kerry could throw out there was to “picture the crowd in their underwear.”
At press time, Lehane decided he would just read the first chapter of Shutter Island and hope nobody notices he didn’t prepare a speech.