Reports: Local Establishment Lit

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Reports surfaced Thursday night that a local establishment is lit.

“The place is lit. The people are mint. The drinks? Off the chain,” reported a patron of the watering hole. “Man, I’m going to miss college over the summer. Mostly because I will not be able to attend gatherings in this building.”

At press time, a Lyft driver’s experience transporting patrons from the aforementioned location to their residence was not lit.

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