Sophomore Steven Brundige, a marketing communications major, was just another student proud to be a Lion his freshman year.
“Waking up and seeing the Common every day, that’s how I knew I was home. Never any confusion about it. Emerson is right here!” said Steven.
But everything changed when Steven was assigned to live in in the temporary residence hall at 12 Hemenway St for the 2017-18 academic year.
Steven has lost all memories of his old life living 2.4 miles from campus. He wakes up every day, trying to piece together clues about where he belongs.
“I mean, we’re like right next to the Boston Conservatory, so maybe I go there? But I can’t play an instrument, so I probably go to Boston University, they have a lot of students, right? But wait I feel like I remember an E somewhere. Emmanuel?”
Steven is not the only Hemenway resident affected by the increased distance from campus. Fellow Hemenway resident Jessica Carnicelli was quoted saying,
“Yeah, I mean it sucks having to take the T, but we’re literally right off Hynes, it’s not far at all. I don’t know why he’s so confused.”
When asked for comment, Emerson Registrar stated that Steven has missed every single class this semester, and that he will be expelled.
At press time, Steven was seen being escorted off Tufts University’s campus for the third time this semester.