A local Emersonian announced Friday that they usually do not get political on Facebook but,
Explaining that they had to chime in on what has become a hot topic, The second-year student carefully explained in a Facebook post how they felt about
The student made the clarification that most of their posts didn’t include anything related to politics. But this status was a little different.
“Hey guys, listen. I don’t usually get political on here… however,
This past Tuesday, Adjunct Professor of Abnormal Psychology Bob Cobb hosted a screening of the infamous Two Girls, One Cup in the Paramount’s Bright Lights theater. Though only a handful of Emerson community members attended the event, those who did became part of a thrilling, thought provoking media experience.
“Media takes on many forms and it is important for you all as story tellers to understand that,” announced Cobb to the mostly empty Bright Lights theater before the screening started, “Let’s experience this not just as viewers, but thinkers.”
But even before lights went down, several students ardently questioned the validity of the screening including Kyle Guthrie ’19, a screenwriting major.
“Why the fuck are you showing this? You can’t just show something like this in a public setting. This is totally fucked,” voiced Guthrie moments before storming out of the theater.
Though everyone but Cobb intermittently left the theater throughout the screening, dashing all hopes of post-viewing discussion, Lion’s Tooth caught up with the professor to ask him if the event was a success.
“Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered,” proclaimed Cobb, “That being said, I cannot show my face on this campus ever again.”
At press time, Emerson’s Custodial staff were still cleaning vomit off the floors of the theater.
by Samantha Dawson, WLP ’18
I can’t fucking believe it. I come into Einstein’s to order an egg sandwich for breakfast and a muffin for later but just HAPPENED to throw out my receipt. God, I’m so STUPID. Well, I can’t dig through the trash now, some freshmen douche just dumped a thing of coffee into that trash bin.
Wait, the lady just called out 13… that can’t be right. I’m pretty sure mine’s was a single digit. What the hell is going on? Should I go up and ask if they have my order ready? I mean I do have class in like 10 mins.
On second thought, maybe that number was for a smoothie or something. They make those pretty fast. If only I could just make out what that girl got…DAMMIT! She’s already out the door. Christ…I’m never getting my breakfast at this point.
God dammit this lady’s just shouting numbers’ now…20…34…47? What the actual fuck?
Screw this. I’m over it. I’ll just steal a bunch of leftover breakfast pastries from the DH real quick.
The morning after the first of 2016’s Presidential Election debates and Emerson’s campus was alight with talk of the night’s happenings.
Professors up and down Walker Building attempted to engage their students in constructive discussions focussed on the Trump, Clinton debates, and found the school’s resident Bernie Bros were more than happy to help facilitate.
“I hijacked the conversation because I felt I could really add something by being a stubborn holdout,” said Hannah Kissinger. “I thought both candidates were terrible, and rather than let people have a productive discussion on the issues that will definitely be shaping the country, I thought it would be a good idea keep whining on about a third party candidate that has no hope in hell of winning! And I did it loudly, too!”
That students didn’t really like either of the mainstream candidates was a great conversation to have when Donald Trump revealed he doesn’t pay taxes and wants to bring back unconstitutional stop and frisk.
“I really enjoyed the debates, and thought the candidates’ performances were super revealing,” said Dave Earnest, “But I’m glad that a Bernie or Bust-er was in class to make sure we could cover precisely none of that.”
Some people had also just missed talking about America’s wacky Jewish granddad.
“It was really fun to revisit Bernie,” said Haylee Smite. “I hadn’t really heard anything from him, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that despite his multiple endorsements of Clinton, people are still trying to focus this important discussion on how he and the Libertarians won’t be changing the country in November. Ain’t that neat?”
Despite being hidden behind a pole in one of Walker’s windowless classrooms, VMA major Dan Tassily let his voice be heard.
“I don’t think we should be having an intelligent conversation to parse the candidates’ stances on generation-defining 21st century subjects of race, gender equality, and the environment, so we could all become more informed citizens,” said Tassily. “I didn’t even really watch the debates, but I wanted everyone to know I’m so cool, I won’t be voting for either. I’d much rather risk a Trump presidency.”
This past weekend, the Emerson community was rocked by reports of multiple stabbings in the late, club-going hours of Boston’s lively theater district just around the corner from the college. Six victims were wounded by either knifes or bottles with one requiring emergency surgery. And while one injured suspect was brought into custody, another escaped and was last seen fleeing in the direction of Charles Street South.
While the Emerson community has been advised to report suspicious activity by ECPD, President Lee Pelton took a stance and declared he was taking actions into his own hands via an email he delivered this morning.
“It’s a scary scary world we live in and I just can’t deal with it anymore,” wrote Pelton in the bold email, “Our community deserves better and I’m gonna deliver. You want justice? Here it comes.”
In the email, President Pelton outlined his plans to use a very rare time travel device hidden in an abandoned theater located under the college. Once back in time, he aims to arrive several minutes before the stabbings occurred and replace all weapons at the scene with stress dolls of all shapes and sizes.
Pelton ended his stirring email with a message to the suspects, “You want to bring trouble to my neighborhood? You better prepared to be utterly humiliated, criminal scum.”
At press time, several ECPD officers arrived at the abandoned theater only to see what appeared to be a man inside a strange metallic box disappear into thin air after a bright flash of light.
As you may or may not be aware, Emerson is currently toying with plans to locate 115 Emerson students in a former youth hostile located in the Fenway area, while the Little Building undergoes renovations in the coming year. After a quick, yet stirring protest against the plan by Boston residents outside of the college several days ago, the Lion’s Tooth team has asked several Emerson community members about their thoughts on the plan.
“I’ll be sold once Popyeye’s takes board bucks.”
-Clair Wallace, Political Communications ’17
“You should see the scaffolding we have planned. It’ll knock your socks off!”
-James Fumicello, Vice President of Property Management
“Go Sox!”
-Oscar Lin, Undeclared ’19
1. In the season 4 finale of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Mac can been seen wearing an “Emerson Football: Undefeated Since 1880” tee-shirt. Rob McElhenney, who plays Mac, was actually Emerson’s starting fullback from 1992-1995 and played a huge part in upholding the streak that still stands to this day.
2. Ralph Waldo Emerson once had a nightmare in which an octopus uttered to him: “the only comprehensive college or university in America dedicated exclusively to communication and the arts in a liberal arts context”. He jotted it down and the phrase stuck to this day. You can see it written on both the wall of the fourth floor of the Walker Building and the school’s Wikipedia page.
3. Despite popular opinion, the name ‘Emerson College’ does not come from Ralph Waldo Emerson. It’s actually named after his nephew, College Emerson. As a tip of the cap to College, names on attendance sheet now appear in a “last name, first name” format on Canvas.
4. The TV monitors in the DH are hung vertically to honor Emerson as a vertical campus.
5. The Emerson-created sport of Quidditch inspired JK Rowling to create the Harry Potter franchise. In fact, the class of ’88 alum spent much of her time sitting in the common watching practice while writing the books. The name Rubeus Hagrid is actually an anagram for Drabs Hie Guru, a nod to the sorority that Rowling belonged to during her time at Emerson.
6. The 10 pieces of pepperoni found on each DH pepperoni pizza are a tribute to the 10 Emerson film kids that went missing at Roanoke Island in 1976
7. Emerson’s “Little Building” is considered to be the estranged daughter of “Big Ben.” They haven’t spoken since the falling out of 1987.
8. In 1999, the campus briefly relocated entirely under the Boston Common due to the impending threat of Y2K — Two classrooms remain there to this day!
9. While Bobbi Brown was attending Emerson, she was a huge advocate of the school’s sustainability initiative. To pay tribute to her legacy, a cartoon depiction of Brown appears atop each recycling bin on campus.
Know of any others that we missed? Let us know it in the comments!
This past Monday, freshman Jessica Hanscom’s world came to a screeching halt during her 8 am Introduction to Speech Communication class when Professor Gus Pensky dropped an infamous, but all too familiar four letter word.
“Please everyone, don’t forget to do the quizzes on Canvas by midnight Sunday. I know you’re all busy with extracurriculars, but sometime’s that shit can sneak up on ya,” brashly advised Pensky to Hanscom and her classmates just before class ended.
Jaw open and eyes wide, Hanscom left Walker 233 unsure of whether she could return to the gritty, unforgiving environment set forth by her professor that following Wednesday and Friday.
“As a WLP major, I’ve read and written the word shit many times before, but hearing an adult say it in a classroom setting was just too much,” a visibly shaken Hanscom told Lion’s Tooth that Tuesday, “I just couldn’t believe the shit coming out of his mouth…literally.”
Hanscom reported that she sought treatment for her profanity induced stress at the Emerson Counseling and Psychological Services center, but was told by a counselor, “Tough shit.”
Thankfully, Hanscom found relief when the Registrar’s Office moved her into another section of the course at the same time.
At press time, Professor Pensky was trying to get the projector up for Friday’s class, asking his students, “Could somebody help me figure this shit out?”
Lion's Tooth 